16 June, 2014

"If You Liked it Then You Shoulda Put a Ring On It"

Wait, what?

Today I have decided to write a little blog entry about bein' sangle.
Or being single.
However you might say it, THIS is written about ... IT.
[note: 'it' is to be said with disdain, and aversion...

Over the course of the last few months, it has come to my attention that there are a handful of people  [not one, not two....but a handful] who seem to be far more concerned about my singleness, my lack of being in a relationship and/or married...than I am.

Many have said the same old cliche phrases, such as...

“Your standards are too high.”
“You don’t try hard enough.”
“You’re too good for him. / He’s not good enough for you.”
“You’re intimidating."
"Let me teach you how to flirt"
[and my personal fave] "You'll find love when you least expect it."

Some have even gone so far as to infer that I should be far more distressed about this topic, than I am.

A few have even projected that something is wrong with me for not being 'on the look-out' or desperate for marriage - as if I am missing out, as if I am lacking ... as if I am not whole - being single. 

This, to me, is crazy. 

I would like to say, to begin, that I know that I do not have to justify [show or prove to be right or reasonable] my life to anyone - especially not in an area as such as this.

Yeah, no.

However, the truth is that there are many girls who love God, are single and are content with that...and thus, I will use this blog as a rebuttal to all, on behalf of myself - and all the ladies [or even dudes] who experience this. 

First and foremost - in case you weren't aware...I love God.
And when I say that, I am not saying "I love God when in church, but do whateva I want everywhurr else."
No, in fact, my life and my life’s foundation is based upon the Word of God - I mean, I strive to live that out.
Obviously, being of flesh and living in this crazy world - I am not perfect, or even close to it.
Yet, my goal is to walk in truth, in right standing with God, and in purity. 

Obviously, this puts me in a position where dating isn't easy.
I mean, this girl has some convictions [fixed or firm beliefs].

I have standards, y'all, and yes, they are high - but they are not unattainable.
I realize that to many people who may not live life as I do, my standards may seem crazy and impossible.
But, I can tell you story after story proving that they are not.
It IS possible to find a man who loves God, and puts Him before you and the relationship.
It IS possible to date a man who is respectful, who desires purity (also) and cherishes you.
It IS possible to have a relationship with healthy [physical and emotional] boundaries.

These are not ridiculous standards. 
And they are something that I am not willing to bend on. 

Sorry...not sorry? 

And because of these standards, obviously I am not going to go out to the club or the bar and sit back with drink in hand, scouring the joint for a hottaaaay. No, no....my experience has been that I am not going to find the type of man I want to marry in those kinds of places. Just sayin'. 

Also - get ready for this - I am not frantic to be in a relationship or get married.
Again, sorry, not sorry ...I'm just not desperate.
And I am not lacking or incomplete because I am single [I wanted to say, "I don't feel like I'm lacking or incomplete..." but that would indicate a possibility that I could be, thus I say with confidence that I am NOT].

In fact, it is simply egregious for anyone to insinuate that I am. 

Believe it or not, ladies and gentlemen...I am content with being single for as long as the Lord would have me to be. 
And there are things that I am working through...that I know I must work through before I could even enter into a serious relationship.
I want to walk into any future relationship healed, whole and ready.

And, personally, I believe that my future husband will be thankful that I did. 

*Side-note...do I even NEED to bring up all the powerful people in history, or [duh] in the Bible who were single?
...I didn't think so.  

But seriously, y’all, come on.

Do I want to get married?
Uh, is the grass green?

Am I willing to settle?

Am I willing to lower my standards?

I simply want to glorify God in all that I do ...even in dating. 
I desire to be righteous in whatever I do.

“And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.” Isaiah 32:17 

I think that at this point, I would encourage you - if you find yourself to be one of these people - to ask yourself a few questions: 

   -Why am I so concerned with so-and-so's singleness?
  -Do I find too much of my identity and security in my relationship - thus projecting it on others?
  -Is what I'm about to say helpful, beneficial or encouraging?
  -Do I even have the place to speak into this persons life?

Just some food for thought. :) 

And finally, my friends, I will end with this:

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