Today I have decided to write a little blog entry about bein' sangle.
Or being single.
However you might say it, THIS is written about ... IT.
[note: 'it' is to be said with disdain, and aversion...]
Over the course of the last few months, it has come to my attention that there are a handful of people [not one, not two....but a handful] who seem to be far more concerned about my singleness, my lack of being in a relationship and/or married...than I am.
Many have said the same old cliche phrases, such as...
“Your standards are too high.”
“You don’t try hard enough.”
“You’re too good for him. / He’s not good enough for you.”
"Let me teach you how to flirt"
[and my personal fave] "You'll find love when you least expect it."
Some have even gone so far as to infer that I should be far more distressed about this topic, than I am.
A few have even projected that something is wrong with me for not being 'on the look-out' or desperate for marriage - as if I am missing out, as if I am lacking ... as if I am not whole - being single.
This, to me, is crazy.
I would like to say, to begin, that I know that I do not have to justify [show or prove to be right or reasonable] my life to anyone - especially not in an area as such as this.
However, the truth is that there are many girls who love God, are single and are content with that...and thus, I will use this blog as a rebuttal to all, on behalf of myself - and all the ladies [or even dudes] who experience this.
First and foremost - in case you weren't aware...I love God.
And when I say that, I am not saying "I love God when in church, but do whateva I want everywhurr else."
No, in fact, my life and my life’s foundation is based upon the Word of God - I mean, I strive to live that out.
Obviously, being of flesh and living in this crazy world - I am not perfect, or even close to it.
Yet, my goal is to walk in truth, in right standing with God, and in purity.
Obviously, this puts me in a position where dating isn't easy.
I mean, this girl has some convictions [fixed or firm beliefs].
I have standards, y'all, and yes, they are high - but they are not unattainable.
I realize that to many people who may not live life as I do, my standards may seem crazy and impossible.
But, I can tell you story after story proving that they are not.
It IS possible to find a man who loves God, and puts Him before you and the relationship.
It IS possible to date a man who is respectful, who desires purity (also) and cherishes you.
It IS possible to have a relationship with healthy [physical and emotional] boundaries.
These are not ridiculous standards.
And they are something that I am not willing to bend on.
And because of these standards, obviously I am not going to go out to the club or the bar and sit back with drink in hand, scouring the joint for a hottaaaay. No, no....my experience has been that I am not going to find the type of man I want to marry in those kinds of places. Just sayin'.
Also - get ready for this - I am not frantic to be in a relationship or get married.
Again, sorry, not sorry ...I'm just not desperate.
And I am not lacking or incomplete because I am single [I wanted to say, "I don't feel like I'm lacking or incomplete..." but that would indicate a possibility that I could be, thus I say with confidence that I am NOT].
In fact, it is simply egregious for anyone to insinuate that I am.
Believe it or not, ladies and gentlemen...I am content with being single for as long as the Lord would have me to be.
And there are things that I am working through...that I know I must work through before I could even enter into a serious relationship.
I want to walk into any future relationship healed, whole and ready.
And, personally, I believe that my future husband will be thankful that I did.
*Side-note...do I even NEED to bring up all the powerful people in history, or [duh] in the Bible who were single?
...I didn't think so.
But seriously, y’all, come on.
Do I want to get married?
Uh, is the grass green?
Am I willing to settle?
Am I willing to lower my standards?
I simply want to glorify God in all that I do ...even in dating.
I desire to be righteous in whatever I do.
“And the effect of righteousness will be peace, and the result of righteousness, quietness and trust forever.” Isaiah 32:17
I think that at this point, I would encourage you - if you find yourself to be one of these people - to ask yourself a few questions:
-Why am I so concerned with so-and-so's singleness?
-Do I find too much of my identity and security in my relationship - thus projecting it on others?
-Is what I'm about to say helpful, beneficial or encouraging?
-Do I even have the place to speak into this persons life?
Just some food for thought. :)
And finally, my friends, I will end with this: